Smile from a Veil
by SerPounceALot
Summary: CLC, Spoilers for FFVII and VIII! / Squall again, chapter: "A Challenger Appears" / UPDATED 6/24!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Smile from a Veil

**Chapter: **1 / 7 (subject to change)

**Status: **In Progress

**Pairing: **Leon/Cloud

**Rating: **PG-13, varies by chapter

**Warnings:** Does not strictly follow Kingdom Hearts canon. **Contains major spoilers for Final Fantasy VII and VIII**. Hopefully this can stand as a KH fic alone, but I can't promise. If you are not familiar with Raine and Laguna in Final Fantasy VIII, there may be some confusion. May be considered crossover, I suppose, I'm honestly not sure.

**Description: **They're after the same thing, whether they know it or not. What cost will be paid to attain it?

"So you're finally awake."

The only thing Cloud knew for sure when his eyes finally gained focus was that he did not know the man hovering over him. Beyond light age lines and graying temples, there was something familiar in the concerned eyes, but he had definitely never met the man before.

"Awake, huh?" The blond's voice was a choked grunt through a raw throat, vocal chords remembering how to produce noise again. Confusion was an understatement; Awake was something he had never quite expected to be again after that last battle.

It was with this vague recollection that memories began pouring in, vivid and fresh and burning, searing in his mind. His hand edged along the side of his hip, then up his chest. There was no intentional hesitation to his movements, but his muscles seemed reluctant to obey. Clumsy and stiff, his fingers sprawled over his chest, only to find mounds of scabbing and flakes of dried blood where gaping wounds should have marked his end.

"You took some hell of a beating." The older man seemed friendly enough, but Cloud took nothing at face value, gaze darting from aged eyes to the stone ceiling, then back to the far more pleasant eyes. He knew this place, and far too well at that. This was the Underworld- Hades' personal domain. He was in hell, yet again.

"Seems that way." Cloud grunted, planted the heels of his hands firmly into rock on either side, then heaved himself up. The intense pain he expected with the sudden movement never hit, though when he tried to suck in a steeling breath, he found that his lungs did nothing at all. A moment of panic hit; A sudden and intense confusion when air refused to work its way through his body and, after a moment's struggle, he realized he did not need it to. Despite the effort, a slight tremble in his hands to show for it, no heart fluttered between ribs in response. His hand went to wounded chest yet again to confirm this worrying fact.

"This seems like it's gonna be uncomfortable to explain." The long-haired man hoisted himself from his seat next to Cloud with these words and paced the small, plain den. The room was round and cold, a harsh wind seemed to rustle through from time to time, and the chill always remained. The color scheme was a magnificently dull shade of gray, and decor nothing but rocks of varying relief and the occasional blue-flamed torch, flickering just enough to ensure a feeling of unease.

"I'm dead." Cloud did the awkward work for the stranger, this time keeping eyes averted. He'd rarely considered what the afterlife might hold for him, and being back in Underworld with only his memories and an unknown roommate had never been one of the visions he conjured. It didn't take a genius to figure out his status, though. He could all but feel the ungodly sting of steel in his chest, the twisting, wrenching agony. That was it- Sephiroth had finally killed him.

"Oh...well, guess that makes it easier on me." There was a smile on the stranger's face when Cloud glanced up, further accentuating well-marked lines. The blond nodded once, not bothering to return the expression.

"I'm Laguna, by the way." Cloud stared at the hand extended to him then nodded his own greeting. Basic logic told him this guy was either in the same hopeless boat he was, or, worse yet, one of Hades' new pawns. Regardless of which he might have been, Cloud knew better than to bestow even the simplest trust.

"Cloud." Even the admission of his name was probably more than was certifiably safe. The older man, though, had a familiar presence that somehow put him at ease, or at least as much as one could be when faced with a stranger in hell.

"You were out for a while there." Laguna didn't seem to take offense to Cloud's introductory rejection. He had expected it, really, and was delighted to be given even a name. This was a man who, from the looks of it, was recently murdered. Socializing may not have been high on his priorities.

"I think you were, at least. Hard to keep track of time around here." he went on when the blond didn't speak, still pacing the room, "So...did you go to see someone?"

Laguna could guess, by means of Cloud's confused expression, that they had not shared their introductory experiences.

"See someone?" Cloud repeated, voice still thick in his throat, "Everything after....the end..." he was struggling with his words, though no longer to say them so much as to select, "it's just a blur." There were flashes of memories now, vague and hazy, more a hallucination than a visit as he began to recall. Certainly not reality.

"Maybe it's different." Laguna conceded, sitting himself as comfortably as he could across the small room from Cloud. "Before I woke up, I saw my wife." with his explanation, Cloud's eyes traveled of their own accord to survey a plain silver ring on his finger. He almost smiled- his first impression of the man somehow didn't include thoughts of a wife.

"She's here?" Cloud asked lowly, not at all sure why he had a sudden interest in the man's story. He chalked it up to his own memories piquing at Laguna's words and did away with the curiosity when the man began to speak again.

"Here? No." His smile turned sad, eyes downcast. Slowly, he shook his head and looked up at that awful, dripping ceiling, "She's been gone for years. Really, and truly gone. Not like us." With these words, Cloud sat up, watching with far more interest.

"Like us?" he repeated, still attempting to work out this whole puzzle in his brain, "What, exactly, does 'like us' even mean?" The man smiled again, that impossibly sad expression still in his eyes.

"We're cursed, so to speak. Raine, she was able to accept her fate. She left in peace and was given rest. Guys like us, though, we're different. Maybe it was time for us to go, but we were still holding on too hard." Laguna paused to survey Cloud's expression; It consisted of uncertainty and a tentative acceptance, again more than Laguna had hoped for to start.

"So we're left like this. Definitely not living, but not quite dead either. We're just stuck like this, without rest or peace or any of those things they promise you'll get once you finish the whole life ordeal." He finished the thought with a small shrug.

"You mean, like ghosts?" Cloud suggested.

"Something like that." Laguna agreed with a nod, "Stuck to roam the worlds until we can clean up our unfinished business." Put that way, it sounded like idiocy even to Laguna, dubbed king of all idiots more times than once.

"Unfinished business." Cloud repeated, the words not at all foreign on his tongue. Even death wouldn't erase the score he needed to settle. "I have to kill Sephiroth to break the curse." He was speaking to himself, of course, and gave no explanation to the nature of this new duty.

"Unlikely." Laguna interrupted the one-man conversation, standing once more. "Vengeance is all well and good, and certainly a vice worthy of curse." he explained, "but it's not strong enough to leave you as we are."

The blond did not respond vocally. He cocked an eyebrow at the aged man, waiting for him to explain. Killing Sephiroth was the only solution that fit. What other attachment could he have to any world, strong enough to keep him from death?

"Before I woke up, I saw Raine. She gave me my cure on a golden platter." his voice sunk when he spoke of the woman, and he unconsciously twirled the wedding ring on his finger, "I have to come clean, to my son." Another slight jolt to Cloud's system with this explanation. He still couldn't decide why it seemed so unbelievable that the man had a family.

"You lied to your son?" he asked quietly, mind racing. Personal baggage was something he had a hell of a lot of, and if he had to clear that closet before he could rest, he may have found the secret to eternal unlife.

"My son does not know he's my son." Laguna enlightened, eyes fixated on the silver band around his finger, "It's not a secret I meant to keep. His mother died, not long after he was born." he mumbled, eyes glimmering in the flickering blue light, "I had been away at the time. I always thought, so long as I made it home once the baby was there, it'd be okay. Except I wasn't...and she wasn't."

Cloud watched in silence as the man confessed his guilt. He wouldn't push him, or point out the fact that abandoning his pregnant wife may have gotten him to hell in the first place. This Laguna knew something, a lot of somethings from the sounds of it all, and he needed access to that knowledge. So he nodded and he let the man regain his composure before urging him to go on.

"It wasn't as hard to find him as I expected." he had lifted his head again, though still fiddling with the ring, "but I could never seem to approach him. I was a coward. I spent time near where he lived, and I watched him. But I could see her in him, in every bit of him, and I couldn't bring myself within a yard of him."

Cloud winced inwardly. The man was a coward, he decided this much quite quickly, and a weakling. He didn't bother to consider how he himself might have reacted had he been faced with the same situation. It was always easier to judge first, ask questions never.

"So, in order to die, you have to introduce yourself to your son?" Cloud repeated. It seemed sadistic, to say the least, and he would expect no less of Hades.

"That's the short of it, yeah." Laguna looked Cloud over again, eyes still hazy from tears he refused to shed, "So what about you? Don't you remember anything you saw? It might give you a hint, as to what you need to do?"

Cloud stared at him another moment before he screwed his eyes shut. His mind was filling in the final blanks, and he was not at all pleased to see what they were. His mission, if the death vision truly was indicative, was not so far from Laguna's. He, too, had secrets that he was too much a coward ever to reveal.

_"You're not really going to fight him again." _

_Cloud glanced up at his companion and his lips tugged into a tiny smirk. Leon stood in his doorway, arms folded across a bare and damp chest, soaked towel draped over his shoulders. He was leaning into the frame at his right shoulder, his left hip leaning the opposite direction, leather pants stretched across just before things got too interesting._

_"I'm not?" the blond's attention had returned to the blade he had already finished sharpening and was now hard at work polishing. He caught Leon's reflection in the blade, and his smirk threatened to evolve into a smile. What his house mate might think if he knew what Cloud was thinking._

_"You're in no condition." He scolded Cloud as he crossed the room, "and there really is no point. He's only doing this to torment you. He wants to see you suffer." He sat at Cloud's desk chair and ran the towel over his head with proper fervor, "He won't be happy until you're dead."_

_Cloud grunted, propping the blade against the footboard and tossing the ratty wife beater he had been using to clean it aside. "I'm not doing it for fun. I'm doing it because I have to. What do you want to see me do?"_

_"Act like an adult and let this go." Leon groaned in response, "You don't have to do a damn thing about it!" Easy enough to say, when you weren't the one with a score to settle._

_"He threatened the people I care about." Cloud admitted, pushing his irritation aside for a moment of honesty. Tifa, Aerith, Yuffie, they were all in undue danger simply by living at his side. While their safety was a must, Cloud had to admit, even they were not his first priority. A threat against the very man scolding his protective duties had coaxed Cloud back to the brink of battle._

_It was a well-guarded secret that he loved Squall Leonhart. His first step was to rationalize it as pure animal attraction, a simple infatuation. The man was attractive; Masculine and still graceful, with a sharp mind and a strong body. He was the perfect portrait of a man, and the closest friend Cloud could ever claim to have. _

_There was a deeper connection, something more meaningful than a subconscious spark when their eyes met, or a desire to drive him into a mattress when he stood in his doorway just like that, half naked with water dripping from his hair and his hip curving just so. _

_He could live on Leon's words. The smooth voice, and everything it had to say, coming from equally perfect lips. He couldn't number the hours they'd spent at each others' sides, in or out of battle, and the synergy they'd attained was palpable._

_He was most certainly in love with Leon, as he insisted to be called, and Cloud would not let Sephiroth lay a finger on this most precious person._

_"People you care about?" Leon laughed at him, letting the towel drape around his neck again. "Like who, Cloud? If you cared about a damn person but yourself, you wouldn't be doing something this stupid. So tell me, who the hell is so important that you're going to go on some stupid suicide mission to save?" He stood, hips swaying just a bit as he retreated to the door. He waited for a moment in the frame again for an answer that did not come until he stepped out of it._

_"You."_

"Do you remember?" Laguna repeated his question, shaking Cloud from his reverie, "What you saw?"

"Just a stupid memory." The blond responded as his head hung low, "A fight with a friend." His eyes told the story better than his guarded words.

"Someone you love." His new-found companion pointed out. It wasn't a question, and Cloud didn't bother to deny it, though his shoulders slumped until his nose nearly touched his knees. This was the worst possible outcome, he had decided.

"Someone I meant to protect." he clarified, hopeful. If he could convince himself of a mission that required no confession, no words to the man who seemed to hold exactly the opposite feelings as he did, then he could do it. He could complete whatever it was that would lift this curse, and he could be free. "I need to protect him."

He wasn't convinced, and neither was Laguna, but the man seemed willing to give him the benefit of doubt. The elder stood, put on his most determined face, and pumped a fist in the air.

"In that case, we'd better get the hell out of here."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Smile from a Veil

**Chapter: **2 / 7 (subject to change)

**Status: **In Progress

**Pairing: **Leon/Cloud

**Rating: **PG-13, varies by chapter

**Warnings:** Does not strictly follow Kingdom Hearts canon. **Contains major spoilers for Final Fantasy VII and VIII**. Hopefully this can stand as a KH fic alone, but I can't promise. If you are not familiar with Raine and Laguna in Final Fantasy VIII, there may be some confusion. May be considered crossover, I suppose, I'm honestly not sure.

**Description: **They're after the same thing, whether they know it or not. What cost will be paid to attain it?

Leon lifted the thick fabric, buried his face into the knit ribbing and inhaled as deeply as aching lungs would allow. The familiar scent was still clinging, strong and intoxicating. His eyes stung when he released the dirty shirt, tossed it back into the small pile next to the carefully made bed.

"Cloud..." he breathed the name, touching bedspread now. He couldn't remember ever being in the room without the blond at his side. Everything was preserved just as he had left it. Leon hesitated even to sit on the stiff mattress, to so much as shift the covers beneath his weight. He smoothed out the resulting wrinkles, feeling another wave of nausea in the pit of his stomach. Normally deft fingers trembled over a loose thread and paused there.

He'd made a point of avoiding the room for days. His eyes remained fixed whenever he passed, dark wood of the door barely interrupting his peripheral vision. Those first days, he decided, were denial. The conclusion came at suggestion of Tifa, babbling on about stages of grieving in some terrible attempt to explain the war waged in his body since that day.

"You fucking idiot." he spat the words at the dark blue comforter, shaking fist clutching a wad of the fabric, squeezing just as hard as he could. It wasn't enough for Cloud to ignore his plea. No, the damn stubborn man he was, he had to do one better. He had to get himself killed in such a magnificent, bloody, obviously painful way, in front of Leon's eyes.

The memories blinded him, replayed without permission. Flashes of steel and flesh and fabric and blood, the battle already nearly finished by the time he had stumbled upon it. The scream, he remembered most. The gut-wrenching, heart-twisting, terrible scream that Cloud let out when the slender blade pierced him last.

He pushed himself off the bed when the scenes intensified and reached for the small trash can between Cloud's bedside table and desk. Leon dumped the can, scraps of paper and wrappers and empty water bottle, made sure it was empty before he wretched into the tin. He leaned against the bed, trash can tight against his burning chest while his eyes fixed on the wall. The broken body was projected on the off-white paint, visible only to the similarly broken man. The feathers falling, the blood, his own scream, and the body that faded just as quickly as it fell, gone before he could so much as touch.

He spat hot, bitter bile into the can and let his eyes close for the first time since the consuming memory began its vicious onslaught. Inhale, exhale, he had to remind himself. The tears to follow were both expected and wholly unwelcome. Five days, now. Five days, the man he loved had been dead, and he had not shed a tear.

Leon couldn't remember what had possessed him to come to the room. He couldn't fathom why he had subjected himself to the painful familiarity. There were still stray hairs on the pillow and Cloud's scent so thick in the room, choking him more than the bile or sobs in his throat. He felt like an intruder in a sacred place, now being properly punished for his trespassing. This room was the last tangible evidence of Cloud, the last proof that he'd been more than a passing illusion in the first place.

He could barely see through the tears as he surveyed the room again. Every detail reeked of the blond. The scraps he'd flung on the floor- crumpled to-do lists he never followed anyway, wrappers from his favorite sweets, a water bottle Leon was absolutely certain he had tossed to Cloud himself, that day before he went.

"Why didn't you just _listen_?" he asked the tightly-clutched trash, his heart drumming unevenly on the thin metal.

"Why didn't I stop you..." he set the can aside, finally, and turned his head back into the bed, the comforter tucked neatly around the mattress his head was resting against. He buried himself into the soft cover, giving up any final hints of a struggle against the tears. When it came down to it, he was to blame.

Leon knew what would happen. He'd told Cloud as much, and when he didn't get the desired response, lashed out. He pushed him further away when he should have been reaching, clinging, doing anything to stop the fatal chain of events.

Worse yet, he stood by as Sephiroth finished the job. He was frozen with fear, premature heartbreak, watching his nightmare unfold without a word. He could have helped, he could have saved Cloud. Maybe he would have died, but he wouldn't be living like this. His mind spun, replaying every situation that would have ended with Cloud in this room rather than him. Every single thing he didn't do, couldn't do, presenting itself as he sunk further into himself.

He didn't move when the cracked door budged open, nor did he respond to Tifa asking if she could come in. She didn't seem to require an answer, as she came to his side despite the silence. She only glanced briefly at the soiled can before setting it aside and making a seat for herself at Leon's side.

"You're blaming yourself." she observed, "You can't do that, Squall."

His response was more silence, not even a flinch at the use of his name. What might have bothered him a week ago felt so very insignificant now. What use was it to be someone new? The trust he'd grudgingly let grow was for naught. He hated, for once, how right he was- in the end, he really was all alone.

"I know how you're feeling." Tifa seemed perfectly capable of picking exactly the wrong things to say to the man, "we're all feeling the same. Let us help."

Leon wanted to tell her that she had absolutely no idea how he was feeling. He wanted to point out that she could never comprehend the number of things that died in him right along with Cloud. He couldn't tell her about his last moments with the living Cloud, or that he'd known exactly what would happen and did nothing to stop it. He couldn't be absolved of this sin, and certainly not by Tifa's ignorance.

"You've been sick." she went on, not before casting another glance toward the refilled trash can, "Why don't you come lay down?"

"I'd just like to be alone." Leon finally returned, chancing a look into her eyes. It was a mistake- her expression told him this much at once- as, when she saw the glaze of tears and desperate expression, she flung her arms around him.

"I miss him too." she murmured and pulled him close to her chest, "You're not alone, though, Squall. You're not." With this, though, the grieving man did find the strength to pull from her embrace and also to stand.

"Don't tell me how I feel." he whispered, fists clenched as he turned away from her, "He was an idiot, and not worth the trouble he caused everyone." Right foot, left foot, right again. He had to remember how to walk, just the same as he did to breathe. Inhale, right foot. Exhale, left foot.

"I know you don't mean that." Tifa didn't stand, though, didn't try to follow when Leon started toward the door.

"Whatever you believe is up to you." He lingered in that terrible doorway again as he spoke. That damn door frame, where he made his worst mistake. "It doesn't matter what you think or what you say, though. When it comes down to it, it's always the same. You're always alone in the end."

_"I want to leave all that behind." _

_Squall was surprised with himself. The raw honesty, everything he said to the quiet blond, was more than he had ever trusted another living soul with. He felt exposed, naked under the intense blue eyes that scoured him. It was a mistake, he decided in the moment. Cloud had asked a simple question, and he had gone too far. The other man didn't really care about his past, about his story._

_"Except, your past follows you?" Cloud responded quietly, "No matter where you run, or what you do, it finds a way to catch up with you." Squall could tell at once that the man sitting opposite him spoke from experience._

_"I'm not going to let it." he brushed the dark hair from his eyes and took another drink from his second glass of stout, "The person I was then isn't the person I am now." he spoke with every ounce of confidence he did not really possess._

_"Sound pretty sure of it." Cloud mirrored the hydrating motion, eyes still fixed on Squall's. His expression was always intense, but especially so in this moment. Squall had to admit his surprise at the apparent interest his speech had piqued._

_"I've got no family, no friends. I've never depended on anyone but myself." Squall pointed out, not for the first time, "It's not hard to separate yourself from nothing. The only thing that I've carried is my name." the tiniest smirk tugged at his lips, "I like to think, maybe it's what's holding me back."_

_"Then lose it." Cloud's solution was quick and simple, presented with a shrug and a generous gulp of beer. "Not like you'd be the first." he added after a swallowed belch._

_"You make it sound easy." Squall scoffed and leaned back in his chair. He was intrigued by the man across from him. He had been since they first met, just weeks before. Aerith had introduced them with the warning that Cloud never stayed in one place very long anyway, and Squall needn't get too attached. Naturally, Squall ignored the sound advice. _

_Outwardly, they appeared far from friends. When they weren't hurling insults or arguing, they kept themselves busy sparring. There was a constant competition between the men, and they both fed on it. Neither could recall finding themselves quite so evenly matched, in nearly every imaginable aspect._

_Beneath the surface of faux-hostility, though, a deep bond was forming. Squall would have denied it to the death, but the blond had become a fast and close friend and confidant. He found the other to be totally reliable, in battle or otherwise. There was a natural ease he felt with the slightly younger man's presence, and he couldn't shake a natural affinity toward him._

_Squall was also certain that his feelings, and his alone, ran deeper than was in any way proper. He couldn't imagine anyone would deny that Cloud was attractive. Fair skin and golden hair, with those frighteningly blue eyes were complimented by an impressive, slender physique. It was more dangerous, though, than simple attraction. There was lust, coursing through Squall's veins when he looked at the man. There were feelings he couldn't recognize or name, a jolt in his chest when Cloud spoke to him. His world melted with each rare smile, testing his carefully crafted mask of consistent apathy._

_Squall was terribly, fatally, and entirely secretly in love with Cloud Strife._

_"Why can't it be easy?" Cloud gave him one of those precious smiles before he drained his glass, "You've got...how many here? Me, Aerith, the kid, and the old man." he went as far as to count their small alliance on his fingers, "I got a little pull with them, since I can't quite shake my past." he considered a wink, but quickly discarded the thought and continued, "So come up with a name, and I'll make sure they use it."_

_Squall found himself doing little more than staring. There were a number of emotions rising and raging through him. Appreciation, admiration, and a strong desire to take Cloud back to his room and properly thank him for this favor._

_"You're serious." Squall murmured. He had to break the staring contest, swallow deep, and pretend his cheeks weren't so flush. Cloud would certainly point out that he was blushing and he resolved at once to blame it on the drink._

_"I'm always serious." Cloud's words won him a returned smile and a chuckle. "So what's it gonna be?" He taped his fingers in rhythm on the table as he awaited the answer. It had been weeks since Cloud found his way to Traverse Town and he was certainly no longer intrigued by the decor of the Red Room. The dark table they shared seemed far more interesting now that Squall was denying eye contact._

_"I think..." Squall started slowly. If he answered at once, he decided, it would sound too much like he'd been planning the act from the start. Too long, and he'd be over thinking it. He hated how much he cared about Cloud's impression of him. "Leon."_

_Cloud's response was far from Squall's expectations. His head lowered, hand lifted in front of his mouth. His face reddened and eyes even teared._

_"Cloud?"_

_Cloud had erupted into laughter in the moment his response was questioned. He lifted a hand and shook his head, trying to fend off his impure thoughts. As Cloud became more desperately amused, Squall's expression made a steady turn for anger._

_"It's just..." Cloud was choking on his laughter as he tried to explain, "Leon...Leonhart? Really?" Squall continued to feel a lack of amusement, but he'd be damned if Cloud's laughter wasn't contagious. He had to fight his own laughter but was unable to deny a smile._

_"Yeah, so?" he responded, just as gruffly as he could._

_"Sounds like a porn star." the blue-eyed man scoffed, then imitated, "'Excuse me, ma'am. I'm here to repair your refrigerator...'" he slapped the table, still in hysterics as the scene played in his mind._

_"Fuck you." the darker-haired, far less drunk man spat, laughing himself now._

_"Gonna take more than four glasses for that, Leon Leonhart."_

Leon didn't remember how he got out to the cliffs, or even that he wanted to be there. The place was insignificant on the whole. Cloud had fought with Sephiroth at this place before, he had been told, but it was not the scene of his defeat.

He recalled fighting alongside his friend along the cavernous paths he had to follow to get there. Months felt like years, brighter memories barely a pinpoint of light at the back end of a forever-long tunnel.

He sat at the edge of the farthest-reaching cliff. It was cold, and the scent of rain gave warning to a long-predicted storm. He stared out into the endless distance, black clouds above and sharp ravine below. It was the first time he let himself wonder what ultimately became of Cloud- of the treasured spirit that resided in the dead vessel.

"Looks like you were wrong." He didn't speak to the heavens or to the earth, and certainly not to hell. He spoke to Cloud, who would never hear what he had to say. "I changed my name. I pretended to be strong, and that I only needed me."

His legs still dangled from the edge when he lay back. He always was so easily able to be honest with Cloud.

"Leon. Squall. It doesn't matter who I am, or what you said back then." he smirked at a recalled broken promise now, "I was right all along. There's no use depending on anyone. I can't avoid it, I'm alone again."

He closed his eyes before the first drops began to fall.

"I hope you don't expect me ever to forgive you for this, Cloud."


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Smile from a Veil

**Chapter: **3 / 7 (subject to change)

**Status: **In Progress

**Pairing: **Leon/Cloud, Laguna/Raine, references to Zack/Cloud.

**Rating: **PG-13, varies by chapter

**Warnings:** Does **not **strictly follow Kingdom Hearts canon. **Contains major spoilers for Final Fantasy VII and VIII**.

**Description: **They're after the same thing, whether they know it or not. What cost will be paid to attain it?

Cloud did very little in the way of protesting when he and Laguna got down to business.

While he kept his cautious emotional distance, he threw his trust into the man. After all, he had little other choice, and a mission to complete on top of that. That was not, of course, to say that he liked the idea. The man was far too animated for Cloud's tastes. He was cheerful, absent-minded, friendly, and open.

Cloud had encountered Laguna's type before. He had encountered, and fallen desperately in love with just that type of man. He was then given the distinct displeasure of watching the man die before his eyes; a death for which he took full blame. Cloud had little desire to grow close to the aged version of that memory.

"You've got that 'thinking-too-hard' look again." Laguna pointed out, interrupting a memory that was near to the point of making Cloud blush. It was the rare occasion on which Cloud was glad to be interrupted.

Their journey thus far had been long, quiet, monotonous, and far too easy so far as Cloud was concerned. There was no fighting their way out of the Underworld. Laguna had ushered them out, by his own words, as easily as he had gotten himself in. Despite his curiosity, Cloud had let the point remain unquestioned until they were now well on their way to the Loire child's last known location.

"How is it that you have this ship, exactly?" Cloud shifted in his seat. He wasn't exactly uncomfortable, and nor was he particularly comfortable. The state they shared seemed to be one of constant and slight discomfort, just enough to leave either man slightly on edge.

"I've had it for a long time." Laguna responded vaguely and rubbed the back of his head, then tightened the hair tie at the base of his neck. "I bought it years ago, from a man in Traverse, where we're going now. Nice guy, little rough around the edges, though."

"You know what I mean." Cloud did not interrupt, though, humored Laguna well enough to let him tell his short story, "You died, didn't you? How did you carry a ship with you to the Underworld?"

An awkward silence fell and Laguna pretended to search momentarily for a map. His first punctuation to the silence was to curse, to mumble that he must have forgotten the damned thing. He let the excuse go after another length of silence, though, and began with a low sigh.

"I went there of my own accord." The admission was laden with guilt, though Cloud wasn't entirely sure why. "I wanted to see my Raine again. It had been so many years. I had my friends, yeah, but...how can I explain?" Laguna shook his head, sighed yet again.

"When there's someone you love that much," he began again, "you could have every person in the world at your side. Without them, though, it doesn't mean a damn thing." Cloud didn't need it explained to him, but he let the other say it regardless. Cloud knew being alone in a crowd. He knew better than damn near anyone, or at least he assumed he did.

"So you made a bargain with Hades?" Cloud prompted. He'd gone that route himself, to no avail. He had abandoned his final ember of light, fanned and fed by a man he'd only just met, and gone to beg Hades to give him back his love. That, he realized now, was fatal mistake number one.

It was in Traverse Town that he first met Squall. He was still in mourning then, not that he would ever admit it, over the best friend he had lost over a year before. Familiar feelings, new feelings, hot and heavy and overwhelming had brought along an intense guilt. He couldn't forget Zack. Yet, with every moment he spent with Squall, a moment of pain and isolation was replaced. He wasn't hurting himself for getting his last love killed any more, and that was unforgivable.

He ran way from his feelings, with the futile excuse that he would trade himself for his now long-dead friend. When he got to Underworld, he had never expected Hades to accept such a deal. Cloud, of course, was correct in his skepticism. The lord of the dead had played him for just the fool he was, and were it not for a kid showing up at a precisely opportune moment, he would have never escaped the consequences.

"Hades doesn't make bargains." Laguna responded, "I told him he could have my life, if I could just see her one more time." He closed his eyes, put his trust in the old ship's autopilot for a moment, "You can see how that worked. Now, I'm just another form of entertainment for a rainy day."

"How do you know you'll be free if you do this?" Cloud looked him over. He felt far less confident than before. Laguna's stories didn't add up, and he felt uneasy as he tried to fill in the gaps. Whatever it was that Laguna was, Cloud couldn't swallow that he was the same.

"I don't." there was another long silence before he admitted as much, "There's a difference between us. Between you and I and the others roaming the caverns back there. We're not detached souls, and we're not at rest. All I can rely on is what I've heard from others, what might make sense."

"So you're taking me to another world on nothing but what you think is a good guess?" Cloud didn't snap at him, but his face had reddened and all his frustrations were laid in his expression. They were on a wild goose chase, he was certain. Was it really worse than sitting in the Underworld for the rest of eternity, though?

"Raine spoke to me. She told me to find him, and that's what I'm going to do. I saw her, before I woke up in that place. I'm not alive any more, but I'm not dead. I have to believe in her, that her words meant something, because I don't have anything else to believe in." he spoke with conviction, his expression intense when his eyes opened again. There was no other choice for him, but to believe in this imaginary errand.

"What if that's not enough?" Cloud shifted in his seat again, "What if you're still like this, even after you find your kid and tell him what you need to?"

"If that happens, then at least I'll have one weight off my chest." Laguna replied simply, "I can't assume things will go wrong, or I won't be able to keep at it. You should try not being so pessimistic some time too." He forced a smile, "What about you, Cloud? You've gotta protect your friend, right?"

Cloud hesitated. The more he considered this, the less confident he felt. Even if Laguna was wrong, even if the curse remained, at least he had a concrete goal. Cloud's only intention was to protect Leon, a man perfectly capable of taking care of himself. The only end he could come to was that his mission was something entirely different, and that he had no way of knowing what it might be.

"Maybe." he finally agreed, "I guess I'm not really sure," the admission was more than Laguna expected and he listened eagerly as Cloud continued, "I guess he doesn't really need my protection. He's plenty strong on his own."

"Then maybe you need to tell him something." Laguna prodded, "Same as me." Cloud considered this, not sure whether he loved or hated the idea.

His last moments with Leon were rough and uncomfortable. He'd pushed the other away, when his friend's only apparent attention was to save him. The last conversation they shared consisted of Leon, in his own abrupt way, trying to do exactly what Cloud was trying to do for him. Leon was trying to protect him. Rather than accepting his help, instead of coming clean for even a last moment of freedom from confining secrets, he only rushed to his death.

He thought of Leon, didn't even hear when Laguna spoke his name again. Leon was certainly angry, probably even hated him. Maybe he felt just a little bit smug. Leon had been right, after all; Cloud had gone and gotten himself killed. He'd ignored the feelings of those he cared for and denied that they might care for him in turn. Leon was right, as usual.

Cloud wondered if he was hurt. They were friends, after all, even if Cloud's feelings surpassed that status. Guilt stung at him with this consideration, and more still when he recalled how it felt to lose Zack, not under entirely different circumstances. Worst of all, knowing Leon, he had found a way to blame himself for it.

"I think you might be right." Cloud whispered, unable to banish his new worries, "I think I have to apologize." He nodded once to confirm this with himself, but Laguna was shaking his head, the tiniest smile on his lips.

"That's not exactly what I meant." Laguna chuckled, happy to return to his upbeat persona, "You'll figure it out eventually."

"I can only hope." Cloud sighed, letting his eyes close. While he had already come to the realization that sleep was impossible in his new state. This fact did not deter him from keep his eyes shut until they reached an unsteady landing point.

"This is it." Laguna gave Cloud a glance. They sat for another moment in silence before leaving the ship to a world far from what they expected.

It had been over two years since Cloud had stepped foot in Traverse Town, and longer still for Laguna. The same buildings stood, though obviously empty and long -since abandoned. They disembarked at a ghost town, inhabited by little more than their recollections of previous visits.

"What happened here?" Laguna paced the town square, hands folded behind his head. The world he recalled was inhabited by displaced but open-hearted refugees, intent on building new lives in a makeshift home. As quickly as they had established the city, though, they had apparently left it behind.

"Everyone went home." Cloud murmured. He had his own expectations, for a less populated village. Leon, of course, had left the town with the rest of his small group of friends. While he knew there were many who followed to what would become Radiant Garden, Cloud had not expected such a sad, empty shell.

He also had not expected the look of despair on Laguna's face. Cloud knew exactly where he had to go, but this man was lost without this one lead. The constant optimism had drained, and the man suddenly looked all his years and then some.

"Hey..." the blond considered telling him not to give up. He was never one for positive thinking himself and found that he relied on others more than he liked to admit when it came to searching for hope.

"Where do we go from here..." Laguna had taken to mumbling to himself and pacing the front square more frantically, "I don't have any other ideas."

"Laguna, c'mon." Cloud grabbed for the man's wrist, then clapped a hand onto his shoulder, "Why don't we split up and look around, okay? Maybe we can find some sort of clue as to where he went." The blond spoke with confidence he didn't posses, but the older man seemed to buy into it, and they were soon heading in opposite directions to scour the abandoned city for any hint of former life.

Cloud's feet moved on their own, with purpose that his mind tried to dispel. He hadn't even so much as asked for this mysterious man's name before he took off, supposedly in search of information. Instead, he found himself chasing memories.

The door to the inn creaked open without much protest. Had Cloud still been fully alive, he might have choked on the odor of rot and mold. Each step he took swept dust up behind him and caused the floor to creak dangerously below. Doors to the individual rooms creaked open and shut when he passed, destination clear in his mind.

_"So you're leaving?" _

_Cloud nearly winced at the expression on Leon's face. He hadn't expected the announcement of his sudden departure to make much of a difference to his new-found friend. They'd only met each other a few weeks before, and while Cloud felt an undeniable affinity toward the other, their relationship seemed lukewarm at beast. Leon's feelings seemed to be at room-temperature, at least, while Cloud was burning for him in secret._

_"I never really stay any place for too long." His explanation was true enough, though the expression Leon returned made quite clear the fact that it was far from sufficient._

_"Aerith said you plan to go to the Coliseum." Leon ventured. Cloud sat next to him on the edge of his bed and both men stared at the wall opposite rather than each other, discomfort written on their faces._

_"I have some questions I need answered." Cloud whispered, gaze moving from the wall to the floor as he leaned forward. He had no intention to tell Leon that this was his self-enforced punishment for betraying his former love. He also omitted the fact that he planned to die there, one way or another, and especially so if it could return Zack to the living worlds._

_"Questions, huh?" Leon smirked. He had questions of his own- Cloud could see it in his expression when he ventured a look over. Cloud could only guess how much his companion had learned about his past via Aerith and Cid. The expression was far too knowing for his taste._

_"I've done some stupid shit in my life." Cloud sighed, his fingers tangling together as he sought after something to do with them. He had urges, intense and sudden, and most of them involved the bed he sat on and the man he shared it with. He felt his face warm at the thoughts, though Leon was either unaware or graciously forgiving of the blush._

_"Haven't we all?" Leon leaned slightly on his hand so that their shoulders touched. They sat that way for a small eternity, that simple contact enough to keep either from moving or speaking or doing any other similarly stupid thing._

_"Not on this scale." The blond was quiet in his admission, knowing the moment he said it that Leon would deny that. "I don't want to just run away any more. I want to make it right." _

_"Do you think that's really possible?" Leon shifted, found that they were leaning fully into each other now at the arms. Again, both men sat still. Neither seemed perturbed by the arrangement, and they dare not test the theory with the other. "If what you think you did is that bad, can you make it better from asking questions to the right people?"_

_Their eyes caught again, this time for far too long. Cloud felt an ache, the pre-registering regret at leaving the challenging new figure behind in search of ghosts he had little chance of ever meeting with again. He also felt a certainty that Leon knew far more than he was willing to let on._

_"Depends on who I ask." Cloud finally shrugged, but not before breaking contact, both visual and physical, "And what I ask them." He tried to believe his own words, to find the conviction he felt in the middle of the night when nobody was questioning his foolish plans. He couldn't seem to find the strength he used to borrow from others, though. There was nothing but fear and discouragement in his own mental narrative._

_"You should be careful, Cloud." The brunette stared forward when he spoke, eyes fixed again on the lightly-decorated wall across the room from them. "Don't go chasing after questions you already know the answer to. That's a stupid way to throw your life away."_

_"As opposed to a good way to throw my life away?" Cloud questioned with a smirk. He could think of a million good ways to throw his life away with Leon. Just for a moment, it seemed like a perfectly acceptable risk, too._

_"I'm going to miss you." Leon's admission shocked them both, and his own gloved hand went to cover his mouth after he said as much. They were both moving to stand now, awkward and uncertain in the face of goodbye._

_"It's not like I won't see you again." When Cloud said it, he fully believed it to be a lie, albeit a necessary one. Finality was too much for him, especially when it came to Leon. He disregarded the impossibility of the statement when applied to his plans and forced himself to believe that this was, in fact, a temporary parting._

_"Yeah, not good-bye then." Leon was gracious in his acceptance of Cloud's lie, needing it just as much as the one who told it, "More like, 'See you soon'." _

_"Right. Exactly." Cloud tried to smile, to ignore the unfamiliar burning behind his eyes. Was he going to cry? There was no way he could allow such weakness in front of another, especially when the other was Leon. "Until then, Leon."_

_He slipped out the door before the first tear slid down his cheek._

"Squall." The bed was creaky and the covers moth-eaten, shredded beneath Cloud. The moment held a number of details that Cloud was not aware of. There were tears on his cheeks that he could not remember crying, and a name slipping through his lips as natural as breathing once was. Then, as soon as that word was spoken, arose a clamor from the man he had not noticed watching him from the doorway.

"You've found something!?" Laguna, in his excitement, didn't seem to notice Cloud's despair. He only heard the one word, and it was the only thing he needed to bring the hope back to their case.

"Wh-what?" Cloud wiped his face, which only exasperated matters. Dust that had clung to his skin burnt in his eyes and smudged on wet cheeks, the effect leaving him looking quite like a child nursing a skinned knee.

"You said his name. Squall. That's my son." The older man was all but bouncing from the walls, "What did you find?"

Cloud's heart might have stopped in that moment had it not already done so countless days before. He stared, mouth open and burning eyes wide at the excitable man while his brain tried to little avail to comprehend what he had just heard.

"Your son is Squall?" his voice was stuck in his throat, sticky and hot and unable to do more than choke out that one question. Laguna was going on, endlessly spouting about how now he wished he had imparted that information earlier, and what a silly mistake this wasted trip had been if Cloud knew more than he.

Cloud, however, felt as though he knew nothing. He could not fathom how such a cheerful, animated, detestably happy fellow could have produced the solid mass of angst he had fallen so painfully in love with. There was a mix-up, an impossible coincidence. There was also that inexplicable familiarity in Laguna's eyes, in the tones in his voice, that suddenly struck Cloud like a ton of bricks.

"Cloud, hey. Cloud, do you know where he is?" Laguna waved a hand in front of the dazed man's face, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking..." he paused, head still buzzing, "that fate is a sick bastard."


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Smile from a Veil

**Chapter**: 4 / 7

**Status**: In Progress

**Pairing**: Leon/Cloud, Laguna/Raine, references to Zack/Cloud.

**Rating**: PG-13

**Warnings**: CROSSOVERS AHOY! May contain spoilers for Final Fantasy VII, Advent Children, Way to a Smile OVA, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts, etc. etc.

**Description**: They're after the same thing, whether they know it or not. What cost will be paid to attain it?

It wasn't often any more that Squall was left to his own devices.

Tifa was of the strong opinion that their makeshift family would be sufficient when it came to healing his emotional wounds. Aerith, on the other hand, was simply concerned that if they left him for too long, they'd return to him dead. Yuffie, of course, was incapable of giving anyone a moment of peace. This left Cid as his godsend, and it was thanks to the gruff pilot that he was given his first, however brief, moment of solitude since Cloud's passing.

The old man had somehow rounded the lot of women into accompanying him somewhere or another. Squall wasn't entirely clear on the specifics, much the way he wasn't quite clear on what made his feet take them in just the direction he was going. He couldn't bring himself to enter Cloud's room any more, so after several minutes of staring at the oak barrier between himself and that sanctuary, he found that he was walking an equally familiar path.

Past the Bailey and through the cliffs where they had fought as partners, toward the best memorial he could think to make for the man he refused to admit he loved. He couldn't separate the echo of his footsteps from the heavy thudding of his heart, and much less take note of the fact that he was trailing someone with a quicker, heavier stride.

It wasn't until he emerged, squinting, into the sun soaked overlook that Squall realized he was not alone at all. He didn't recognize the silhouette admiring the sword, traditional memorial to a fallen warrior. The fact that it seemed to be a child, perhaps a teenager at best, didn't deter the brunette from reaching for his own blade when he saw a fist wrap around First Tsurugi's hilt.

"Who are you?" Squall meant to say it louder, with more feeling, but instead it was a raspy murmur, voice rough from disuse. If he was the silent type before, he may as well have been a mute since Cloud died. He found little use for words, especially when Tifa or Aerith could just as easily decide what he was feeling without his verbal input. This situation, however, was far more pressing than questions as to whether he had been hurting himself or had any plans too. The matter was more present than his mind, and it gave welcome distraction from the grieving he had only planned to continue.

"This sword..." the figure swayed while still gripping the hilt. When the stranger spoke, Squall let his guard down and began closing the distance between them. The unsteady figure was definitely a child, using nothing but the sturdy sword to keep him from falling by the looks of it. The closer the leather-clad man approached, however, the more tightly the boy gripped the familiar sword and the more he scrunched into a defensive position behind it.

"I've never seen you before." Squall wanted to help. It used to be his focus, helping whoever he came across. He would find homes and jobs and places for people who lacked them, and he vaguely recalled it made him feel fulfilled. He expected no such pleasure from this, but the last thing he could do, dead inside or not, was turn his back on the mysterious child hiding behind his dead love's grave.

"This is Cloud's!" the boy straightened now, and his eyes locked with Squall's in a way that made the elder's heart stand still. Those blue eyes, lit with a power that he knew little about, may as well have been Cloud's own- the expression on them was a perfect mirror of the departed blonde's. Even the way the boy's mouth was drawn tight over clenched teeth, the tiny grunt that the kid made, made Squall feel as though he was staring at a ghost. It didn't take long for him to recognize the ring threaded on the boy's necklace, either, to recall the mark that Cloud had passed to his family with pride.

"Who are you?" Squall repeated his question, staring with an open jaw and wide eyes. The kid was young, and apparently someone damn important to Cloud. That wasn't mentioning the fact that simple math and an uncanny resemblance pointed to an origin that made the gunblader's stomach clench. He was sure he'd never seen a photo of the kid, never heard mention of a son. Then again, Cloud didn't mention much about his past, and there was always the possibility that one of his wild goose chases was for a bird other than Sephiroth.

"Where is Cloud?" He stood on his own now, those all-too-familiar eyes teaming with anger and hot tears. He may have been young, but he knew enough to connect these dots; Cloud's sword with no Cloud, left overlooking a cliff, and with a man who had the look of a mourner trailing him. He also knew well enough that Cloud was, as it would happen, his immortal and undefeatable hero. He wouldn't come this far to find a grave.

"Kid, listen..." Squall's mouth felt like cotton, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth when he tried to form words. He couldn't do this. There was no way he could explain to a kid, searching desperately for what would appear to be his goddamn father, that the man in question was dead. He couldn't apologize for all the actions he didn't take that led to this point, either.

"Denzel," the boy whispered, eyes darting away this time. He was merciful to the man a few yards from him for this moment, offering his name and however many moments the fool needed to collect himself. He found himself, in fact, quite hesitant to hear any more. Something terrible had happened- that much was obvious.

"I'm...Squall," he hesitated in his introduction. He recalled the night he left this side of himself behind, pressing for a future that would be better than the past this name clung to. Cloud's death only drove home what he should have known to start; a name does not excuse you from your sins. He was met with an uncertain nod from Denzel, the boy still hiding on the other side of First Tsurugi.

"Tell me what happened to him." Denzel trembled and remained half-hidden behind the sword. The man opposite was just as hesitant, making no indications that he would speak. He didn't need to, not really. The boy had a good enough idea of what had happened, or at least of the final outcome. It still seemed impossible, though, and he prayed there was room for mistake, "did he disappear? Cloud does that sometimes, but it doesn't mean-" his eager suggestion was cut off mid-breath.

"He's gone, Denzel." Squall's voice was still no more than a whisper, perhaps even less present than before. As much as it hurt him to say, it was worse to let the boy stand and torture himself with hope. There was no place for those feelings, not when they would only be crushed moments later. Squall tried to remember what it felt like to have the surge of excitement the boy showed in those words, though. He tried to remember how anything other than the cold stabbing loss felt. No dice.

"He just, he wanders off a lot, though. He doesn't stay long, so maybe..." the boy kept pressing, hopeful against the tears in his eyes and the lump in his throat. He could see it in Squall's eyes. There was no room for doubt. He couldn't accept this, though. He'd sat back and seen enough death, enough suffering. Cloud was the one person who did a perfect job of avoiding the grave; he was Denzel's hope, the last of his childhood heroes.

"Why don't we go back to town?" Squall was at a loss. He wasn't exactly what one might call good with children, and especially not with helpless ones crying in front of him. It didn't help that the boy could have been Cloud's own flesh and blood, nor could he ignore the sting that Cloud had neglected ever to mention the child.

"I want Cloud." He didn't want to cry, but the tears refused to stop. Even if he could stifle a sob or hide it behind a cough, the tears kept falling. Every moment he had spent waiting, wishing for the day when he would see the ex-SOLDIER again, came to this. Here he was, standing at the grave of the only person he ever fully depended on, without ever getting so much as a goodbye.

Squall hesitated yet again. He was sharp-witted and fast moving against even the most trying of foes. When it came to this, though, he was completely dumbfounded. He didn't know how to empathize properly, or to show any emotion beyond the thin-lipped scowl that had remained plastered to his face even before he fell back into his darkness. There were no words to make this okay, as he had experienced with each of Tifa or Aerith's attempts with himself. Instead, he settled on a truth, written on his face and painful as anything else.

"I do too."


End file.
